Too Old for Children

Tania and I were the last stop on my nieces California tour of their aunts. My youngest brother, Adam, has three girls: Eden, Celesta, and Daniel. Eden, who will turn 5 in a few months, is the youngest of the three. She is a ball of energy and was a constant reminder of how old I’m getting. I’m sure glad we had our kids while we were young. I don’t know how I would have done trying to raise young kids in my late forties.

Eden kept killing me over and over again by shooting me with her finger. When she was shooting me or calling me fart-face she was hitting me with a pillow. One night I was lying on the couch watching TV with Celesta when Eden began plummeting my head with a pillow. I was trying to ignore her hoping a lack of response would make her bored of her antics. Of course that didn’t work. So after about 20 blows, I grabbed the pillow from her hands. After laying still for so long my quick move scared her and she went running to her sister.

As Celesta was comforting her I tossed the pillow in an arch and it landing right in lap. This verified in her mind that I was indeed an evil person and she began crying. Lucky for me Sponge Bob was on next because nothing shuts up a crying child faster than a funny sponge.

After Sponge Bob ended the girls went down stairs to play with dolls with Tania. This gave me a chance to watch some real TV. About a half hour later I heard Tania yell from down stairs but I couldn’t quite make out what she wanted. A few moments later Eden stuck her head out from behind the stairwell then went running back down stairs. Well, pay backs are a bitch – a couple of seconds later Tania comes up stairs yelling at me, asking why I would throw a pillow at Eden when she came up stairs after Tania asked me to get her snack. Before I could explain Tania went stomping off to the kitchen. And some says kids bring couples closer together.

During the drive bringing the kids to their home in Pahrump the girls told Tania that she is their favorite aunt. I think it has more to do with the American Girl dolls and Polly Pockets that we have in the extra bedroom than with anything particular about Tania. But again, if that was true they would have me at the bottom of their uncle list.